Naruto the Promiscuous Uke
by S Girlie
Summary: Life in the eyes of a horny uke. SasuNaru NejiNaru ShikaNaru ShinoNaru KibaNaru LeeNaru ...EVERYTHINGNaru


Thought I was dead? heh, well you are right! technically I am dead so go on and boo me and stuff... this idiot has moved on from fanfiction websites for obvious reasons... CENSORSHIP AND FANDOM. I am tired of sites being all GASP! you are only 16? you can't write smut! or... JROCK? we won't let you upload that! so I just quit. right now I am just living out of my livejournal which can be accessed through my homepage on my userinfo... ohkay.. end rant.

I will continue to post some things here as long as they fit fanfiction's criteria... but nowaday's that is hard for me. so don't expect it. I wanted to tell some people this.. so sorry for those who don't really give a damn.

ON WITH THE FIC!

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Hello my name is Naruto and I am a uke. As sad as it may sound it's actually not that bad, I don't have to do anything. I literally just spread my legs and let some idiot do all the work while I have mind blowing orgasms. Isn't that great? you god damn better BELEIVE IT.

Not only do I not have to work at sex, but I also get shit loads of goodies from the people who screw me, like when I fuck around what's-his-name... He is as lazy as fuck, but when it comes to sex he knows just how I like it, right to the point, let's go straight to the part where I get ramen. Isn't that wonderful? BELEIVE IT. If you ask me he looks just like a pineapple... but I don't mind. I deal with spiky hair of all kinds... and no I am not a whore; a whore like Sakura would never get as much action as I do! I don't even HAVE to look good to get men, I just prefer to. Besides I don't have to pay for it, chumps like Chouji are quick to pay for MY pedicures. BELEIVE IT.

There is one thing better than ramen... and that is my ego, I LOVE it when men flatter me! That is why I screw around with Konohamaru! People say I rob the cradle... whatever, I just can't resist a guy ready to call me his master! I could swoon right now thinking about it. He let me teach him how to do things that only an experienced seme would know. It was just a one time thing, but I think it was just SO CUTE how little his penis was. BELEIVE IT.

Something great about being the HOTTEST uke of them all is that I can break up a relationship in a heart beat, Shino and Kiba for instance. Can you guess which one I slept with? If you thought BOTH then you are correct! BELEIVE IT. I let them both do me on the same fucking day I was so horny. I'm still not sure who was better in bed... Shino was so rough it practically blew my mind! I can see why Kiba loved him so much! It's like he's a gangsta or something! he just loves to fuck me and he can go for HOURS. BELEIVE IT.

And then there was Kiba... god was he CUTE! I was his first uke so he was like a fluffy little virgin! While he fucked me he let me pet his puppy and it was great. After he got some experience he fucked me like an ANIMAL. BELEIVE IT. he lapped at my penis and everything I ever wet-dreamed about! I would seriously hook up with Kiba in an instant... but after He and Shino broke up he got all bitchy and I hate bitchy ukes... damnit I want a SEME, but sometimes that happens when a uke gets their heart broken, they get all sad and bitchy, that's why I NEVER want to be in a relationship. BELEIVE IT.

Speaking of relationships.. you know what is annoying? That god damn Sasuke! He's always bothering me, fucking me without my permission! He gets all pissy when I fuck other people and he even beat up this REALLY CUTE guy! BELEIVE IT. I really liked Sai too... we ended up fucking later on that week, but don't tell Sasuke.. I wish Sasuke would just CHILL OUT. I'm not his boyfriend and he needs to get over it and stop getting so possessive. Just yesterday he was all over me and it was awesome... I though he was going to bang me, but NOOOO! As soon as he took off my shirt he was all "WHO GAVE YOU THESE HICKEYS?" and I was all "JIRAIYA" and then he got all pissed and stormed off. God damnit... I REFUSE to jerk myself off so I went off to find Neji and did he treat me right. BELEIVE IT.

If there is something I could never get tired of it's Neji's gentle fist technique, I just love the way he kneads my balls when he does me. Neji is so awesome! He doesn't care who I do and he even gives me rides to see Rock lee! I can always go see Neji when my dates don't work out... he's just cool like that! He even has a job so he can buy me pretty lingerie and high heels, needless to say he is always number one on my "to do" list. BELEIVE IT.

Of coarse there are people I don't have relations with... It's just I can't think of any right now! I love being a promiscuous uke. BELEIVE IT.

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